The Reflection Blog, part 2

So, I have been back for (more than) a week now, and thoughts are starting to form in my head about what I learned in Paris. This time, I have a real list.

1. Don’t feel (as) guilty for not doing anything. Last year, I would always get an itch when an event went too long, or hanging out for a couple hours turned into an entire afternoon. “I need to be doing something! Must…leave…” I could vacation, but it would have to have a planned ending. Is this a Harvard thing? In any case, so far this instinct has not attacked despite my ridiculous list of tasks already piling up in the first week. And I think I eat more slowly than before.

2. I just thought of something, but I forgot. Dammit.

3. I am more stylish? So says most people upon seeing me for the first time post-Paris. I also suspect that they already expect me to be/seem more European after five months there, so I will not go ahead and conclude that I am more stylish now.

4. Most Americans are not that stereotypical. Let me first explain the stereotype: wealthy young American woman partying it up in bobo clubs on the Champs Elysees every night, speaking loudly in the metro, having a romantic fling with a French man (or two) named Pierre. Throw in some cigarettes and a bottle of champagne too. While I met several who seemed to fit the stereotype, they were kind people who weren’t actually engaging in this kind of behavior every single night. Maybe regularly, but not 24/7. In addition, I realized that the nature of stereotypical Franco-American relationships and the American bubble has largely to do with real language barriers that prevent serious connections from being made between French and Americans. (Not to excuse a lack of effort.)

5. Speaking of stereotypes, I need to stop making them every 5.678 minutes. Everything was either “because I’m American” or “because this is France.” For example, being shocked that gigantic supermarkets exist in France. Or associating supermarkets in general, or really just anything big, with being American. Every interaction fed into this habit of generalizing, and it can be a difficult habit to kick.

2. How to be incompetent. No wonder I forgot it, I must have repressed it from my memory as soon as I realized. And it’s not really a lesson I learned, just something I had to constantly experience: me, usually more or less on top of my stuff, having long periods of time where I just had no clue what was going on. (It was felt most acutely because it was not by choice, but because of linguistic/cultural barriers.) It’s not a lesson I can swallow, that sometimes you just can’t keep up. Nope, I don’t believe it. I have been humbled, but I refuse to accept this…and maybe that’s a good thing. Or just useless pig-headedness. Probably both.

6. My Midwestern accent is back in full force. Being away from an Anglophone context and speaking less English in general returned me to my “true” accent. I even started saying “pop” again. (In the context of searching for Pepsi, of course.) Let’s see how long it lasts back in Boston…

7. Americans have more friends in quantity, but not necessarily quality. Case in point: small talk. I have been asked by so many people, “How was France?” but it’s such a gigantic question to answer that my response is more or less “good,” and that’s all they expect me to say before running off to their next class or meeting. Of course there are pros and cons to this kind of lifestyle…it just stands in such contrast to the time people could take out for each other if they were less busy. See point 1.

Anything life-changing? Still not really. Ask me in a another week? Apparently I just keep becoming more observant as time goes on.