A slow socialization

Heels. Check.
Pierced ear(s). Check.
Makeup. Check.

I think I’m becoming a woman. At least, what our society has defined to be a woman.

Ew.

Society has finally gotten to me. After 19 years of bombardment from advertisements, movies, books, toys, authority figures, aka everything I’ve had contact with, I have given in to society’s demands of anyone with an XX chromosome.

Am I to enjoy this new-found “femininity”? Modern feminists certainly seem to think it’s ok. It’s all about choice now—gender equality means that women can choose to be “girly” or butch, stay home or have a job, not that they have to be one way or the other. After all, that uniformity is what the patriarchy has forced upon women, etc., etc., and it’s only divisive for women to criticize each other, e.g. deciding that certain women or certain clothing deserve the label “slut.” That logic has been applied to what we may call traditionally feminine behavior.

Too bad I’m of the old-school, bra-burning, “down with the patriarchy” variety. I’m stuck with this “I have given in” kind of guilt. All I can do is hold on to the fact that I have never gotten a manicure, never brush my hair, have no desire to go to spas, refuse to change my physical appearance for anyone but myself, and, more substantively, try to force myself into traditionally male realms. Is that denial, stubbornness, or actual resistance? I don’t think I want to know.

Is socialization inevitable? Maybe it is in the professional sphere, where traditional gender roles are felt very acutely. Just look at business attire for men and women. It was cute for me to wear a tie in high school debate, but now that would be butch. Anytime outside of formal events, anyone can just wear jeans and a t-shirt without the same problems, but traditional gender roles are still stubbornly preserved in the formal sphere.

Of course, I’ve been talking about very shallow differences in socialized roles that still exist. It’s a big leap that I even have a job, am involved in politics, am not married off yet, have citizenship, am allowed to immigrate, and even own property at all. Thank you, patriarchy.